Starting the Year in Chaos: A Spiritual Battle, the Armor of God, and Writing Through the Storm

This was initially to be included at the end of this post, but it is far too important to make a footnote out of it:

All of us here at the Twin Tree Project send love, prayers, and support to those affected by the terror attack in New Orleans, our heart home, yesterday. New Orleans has been a huge part of our reality for nearly two decades, and this attack hits very close to home as we have learned that one of our dear friends was among those directly affected by loss during this attack.

We are shaken and reminded that this sort of violence and its ramifications are never as far from home as we might imagine or be led to believe by the headlines. These tragedies ripple outward, touching lives in ways that can’t always be quantified, leaving behind pain that takes a long time to heal.

To all those affected by terrorism, wherever you may be, we send our love and prayers. We hold you in our hearts, recognizing the depth of grief and trauma that these acts of violence leave behind. Most importantly, we remember that there are those who face this on a daily basis as their countries and homes are torn apart by war and the blasts of destruction at every level—not just that of structures and physical environments, but also the tearing apart of families, communities, and the very fabric of their lives.

We stand with you in solidarity, in prayer, and in hope. As we mourn these tragedies, we also commit to being part of a world that seeks healing, connection, and peace. Let us not forget the resilience of the human spirit and the power of compassion to create light in even the darkest of places.

Embracing Authenticity

When I started this blog, my goal was to explore ideas from a calm, thoughtful place—sometimes even an academic one. I posted not too long ago about authenticity and how I had realized it was impossible to be the kind of teacher and example I wanted to be without being transparent.

Initially, I wanted to share insights without making it personal, without putting too much of me in the posts. But as time has gone on, I’ve realized that the most meaningful connections often come when we’re willing to show up as our whole selves, even when that self feels broken or messy.

So here I am, being transparent. And the truth is, I’m struggling.

At the start of this year, I wrote about The Year of the 9 and how embracing change and letting go would be central themes for 2025. I didn’t realize how quickly I’d be called to practice what I preached. This year has already brought me face to face with the kind of change that feels overwhelming—the kind that forces us to confront not only what we’re holding onto but also who we are when we feel like everything is slipping away.

Even the Most Empathetic Struggle!

It’s easy to think that those who seem “spiritually advanced” are immune to these feelings, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, those who are deeply empathetic—who understand the weight of the world and feel the pain of others so acutely—often struggle the most.

Sometimes understanding is harder than not understanding at all. Awareness brings clarity, but it also brings a deep sense of responsibility and grief for the brokenness around us. And it’s in those moments, when the darkness feels all-encompassing, that the enemy strikes hardest.

Please, give yourself grace.

Whether you’re feeling overwhelmed by the weight of the world or battling inner struggles, remember that empathy is both a gift and a burden. You are not failing because you feel deeply—you are human, and it’s okay to not have all the answers.

Let grace be the kindness you extend to yourself in these moments. You don’t have to be perfect or strong all the time. Simply showing up, as messy and broken as you might feel, is enough.

A Spiritual Battle Within

The chaos I feel isn’t just mine. It’s part of a much larger battle. This is the enemy at work—not just human terrorists, not just external forces, but the darkness itself, the devil who sows fear and confusion.

One of my current favorite spiritual teachers, Kerry K, emphasizes the significance of timelines in our spiritual journey. She explains that we’ve recently undergone a radical shift, with the frequency around us becoming crystalline, bringing us closer to ascension. This shift isn’t just external—it’s deeply personal, challenging us to release the past and align with the higher vibrational energy available to us now.

But with this shift comes resistance. The enemy—whether we see it as the darkness, fear, or the devil—works harder than ever to keep us tied to old patterns, to drag us down into the chaos. It’s not just a struggle for progress; it’s a spiritual battle for alignment with the higher timeline that is unfolding.

In her YouTube short titled “2025 wasn’t meant to look like this,” Kerry K shares a profound insight. Her words remind us that even when circumstances seem chaotic and far from what we envisioned, there’s an opportunity hidden within the struggle:

2025 wasn’t meant to look like this. It was meant to be a year of peace, a year of harmony, a year of unity. But here we are, facing challenges we never anticipated. This is not a failure; it’s an opportunity. An opportunity to rise, to stand in our power, to be the light in the darkness. Remember, the greatest growth comes from the greatest challenges. Embrace this time, for it is shaping you into the person you were always meant to be. (Kerry K)

This perspective aligns with the idea that the chaos we experience isn’t solely our own; it’s part of a larger, collective shift. Understanding this can help us navigate our personal struggles with greater compassion and resilience. (For a deeper understanding on this, you might find Kerry K’s insights on timelines and spirituality enlightening.)

Scripture reminds us:

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. (Ephesians 6:12)

This battle isn’t just external; it’s within us, too. The enemy whispers lies that we’re unworthy, powerless, and alone. And in moments like this, those lies can feel so real.

But scripture also reminds us of the truth:

The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid? (Psalm 27:1)

The darkness wants us to forget this, to believe the lie that we are fighting alone. But we’re not. In the moments when the enemy’s lies feel overwhelming, these truths are our anchor. They remind us that God’s light is always with us, illuminating the path forward.

In the moments when the enemy’s lies feel overwhelming, these truths are our anchor. They remind us that God’s light is always with us, illuminating the path forward. When we understand the spiritual battle we face, it invites us to reflect on how we move forward. Sometimes, it means reevaluating everything we thought we were building and being willing to let go.

Reevaluating, Starting Over, and Working Together in 2025

This internal battle has caused me to reevaluate so much—including this blog. I spent weeks creating a posting schedule and outlining topics I was excited about, and now I find myself needing to completely axe it and start over. This might seem like a setback, but maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s a reminder of what I wrote in The Year of the 9: that letting go is a practice. It’s rarely easy, and it often feels like loss, but it’s how we make room for what’s truly meant to grow.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned through this storm, it’s that we cannot do this alone. Not this year. Not in the years ahead. We will absolutely have to work together this year. We will absolutely have to be compassionate with ourselves and each other. And we will absolutely have to lean on one another to remain steady.

Compassion isn’t just a nice idea—it’s a necessity. Leaning on others isn’t a weakness—it’s how we stay strong.

Right now, I don’t have all the answers. I don’t have a plan for how to overcome this battle. But I do know that God doesn’t ask us to win the war in a single day. He asks us to trust Him, to lean on Him, and to take one small step at a time.

For me, that step might be lighting a candle and praying for strength. It might be wrapping myself in a blanket and allowing myself to cry. It might be speaking God’s truth over the lies I’m hearing in my mind. It’s not about figuring it all out at once—it’s about moving forward, one small step at a time, with faith that God will guide the way.

The Armor of God

Even when it feels impossible, we are equipped to face these battles.

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. (Ephesians 6:13)

Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, salvation, and the Word of God—this is the armor He gives us. It’s not just a metaphor. It’s a lifeline. Even when we feel weak, God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).

The armor of God isn’t something we put on once and forget about. It’s something we wear daily, piece by piece, each part designed to protect and strengthen us in specific ways.

• The Belt of Truth: This is the foundation. God’s truth holds everything together, grounding us in who He is and what He promises. In moments of doubt, we can cling to this truth: We are not alone, and we are deeply loved.

• The Breastplate of Righteousness: Righteousness isn’t about perfection; it’s about walking in alignment with God’s will. The breastplate protects our hearts from the lies and accusations of the enemy, reminding us to focus on His goodness instead of our failures.

• The Gospel of Peace (Shoes): When everything feels chaotic, the peace of Christ gives us stability. Like a firm pair of shoes, it allows us to stand steady, no matter how rough the terrain becomes.

• The Shield of Faith: Faith is our defense against fear and doubt. When the enemy’s arrows—thoughts of despair, worry, or hopelessness—come flying at us, our faith shields us, reminding us of God’s promises.

• The Helmet of Salvation: The helmet protects our minds, guarding our thoughts and reminding us of our ultimate hope: the salvation we have through Christ.

• The Sword of the Spirit: The Word of God isn’t just a source of comfort; it’s an active weapon against the enemy’s lies. Speaking scripture aloud—claiming His promises—cuts through the darkness like a sword.

Each piece of this armor is a gift, and together, they prepare us to face whatever battles come our way.

But here’s the thing about this armor: it’s not meant to make us invincible on our own. Its power comes from God. We don’t fight these battles through our strength alone. We stand because He stands with us.

The armor doesn’t eliminate the fight; it equips us for it. It reminds us that even in the fiercest storm, we are not defenseless. God has given us everything we need to stand firm, and He fights alongside us every step of the way.

Finding Hope in the Storm

This storm has reminded me that letting go is never a one-time decision. It’s a daily practice, and one that requires faith—not in ourselves alone, but in the One who fights for us.

If you’re in the middle of a storm too, I want you to know that it’s okay to not have the answers. It’s okay to feel like a mess. You don’t have to fix everything today. You don’t even have to feel okay.

All you need to do is take one small step toward the light, trusting that God will meet you where you are.

The enemy is loud, but God’s voice is louder. His truth is stronger than any lie, and His love is greater than any fear. Even in the middle of this storm, He is with us, fighting for us, and equipping us to stand.

And together—with compassion for ourselves and each other—we will find our way forward.