Temperance is one of the oldest virtues known to humanity, and it remains as relevant today as it was in ancient times. Historically, temperance has been associated with combating the sin of gluttony—not just in terms of physical indulgence, but also in how we allow ourselves to be consumed by excessive desires or passions. More recently, positive psychology has reframed temperance to include character strengths such as forgiveness, humility, prudence, and self-regulation—traits that guide us toward a balanced and fulfilling life.
Building on my recent post about the importance of embodying love in our responses to others as Christians, I’ve been led to explore the many facets of temperance today—its connection to spirituality, personal growth, and the ways it has shaped my own journey, along with practical steps to cultivate this virtue in daily life and reflect on how temperance leads to greater freedom, peace, and purpose.
A Personal Journey: Temperance in Action
For me, 2024 was a year of particularly deep learning and testing in the virtue of temperance. An exceptionally unhealthy situation created by an equally unhealthy relationship in my life became the catalyst for profound transformation and personal liberation. The Universe forced me to confront not only the imbalance in that relationship but also within myself. Through this experience, I learned to embody self-love and self-worth in ways I never had before, and to begin simplifying my life—not just externally, but internally, in my thoughts, emotions, and priorities.
One of the most significant lessons I learned was about empathy with boundaries. As someone deeply sensitive to others’ emotions, I often found myself caught in the turbulence of toxic individuals. However, through spiritual awakening, I gained clarity. I began to see people as they truly are—not with judgment, but with understanding. I could recognize the life circumstances that shaped their behavior, even when it was harmful. This deeper understanding of others also revealed an important truth about myself: empathy without boundaries is self-destruction. Temperance taught me how to balance compassion with self-respect, enabling me to offer support without losing myself in the process.
As I continue walking forward in my life, deepening my spirituality, I find myself reflecting on the collective steps we are all taking in these uncertain times. The world feels as though it is grappling with a profound senselessness—a pervasive chaos that mirrors the imbalance in our collective soul. As karma (consequence) unfolds in so many aspects of our reality, it seems, in many ways, that God has had enough. This inescapable moment calls us to look inward, to reassess the values and virtues that anchor us amid the storm. Among these, temperance, with its quiet strength, offers us a path forward.
Temperance as a Framework for Virtue
Temperance isn’t a single virtue—it’s a collection of values that work together to create harmony within and around us. Chastity, modesty, humility, self-regulation, forgiveness, decorum, hospitality, and abstinence—each plays a role in helping us align our desires and actions with higher goals.
The Bible speaks to the importance of temperance through vivid metaphors. Proverbs 25:28 likens a person without self-control to a “city without walls,” vulnerable and exposed. Similarly, Genesis 16:12 and Jeremiah 2:21 describe unbridled passions as a “wild donkey of a man” and a “wild vine,” images of chaos and untamed impulses. These reminders aren’t meant to shame us, but to help us see how temperance protects us—our hearts, minds, and souls—from being overwhelmed by the pull of excess.
Temperance allows us to enjoy life’s blessings without becoming consumed by them. It’s not about denying joy or pleasure; it’s about creating space for balance, so that what we love enhances our lives rather than controls them.
Practical Steps to Cultivate Temperance
Temperance is a skill that requires practice and intentionality. Here are some ways to develop it:
1. Remember to H.A.L.T.
When you feel emotionally unsettled, pause and check for common triggers: Hunger, Anger, Loneliness, or Tiredness. Addressing these basics can restore balance before emotions spiral out of control.
2. Practice Self-Control:
Start small by delaying gratification or setting limits on indulgences. Self-control, like a muscle, grows stronger with use.
3. Prepare for Triggers:
Identify situations where your self-restraint might be tested and plan how to navigate them.
4. Express Your Feelings:
Bottling up emotions can lead to explosive reactions. Share your feelings constructively to prevent emotional build-up.
5. Step Out of Your Comfort Zone:
Avoid limiting yourself to what feels easy or familiar. Growth often requires embracing discomfort.
6. Avoid Hyper-Vigilance:
Balance awareness with trust. Constantly monitoring yourself can lead to unnecessary stress and rigidity.
These steps, though simple, are powerful tools for fostering temperance. Over time, they can transform not only how we navigate challenges but also how we engage with ourselves and others.
Temperance in Everyday Life
Temperance touches every part of our daily lives. It’s in how we balance work and rest, how we approach food and technology, and how we set boundaries in relationships. It teaches us to slow down and ask: “Am I living in alignment with what truly matters?”
For instance, temperance might mean pausing to enjoy a meal mindfully instead of rushing through it. It might look like turning off your phone to focus on a meaningful conversation or choosing to take a walk in nature instead of scrolling social media. These small moments of balance, repeated over time, create lives filled with intention and peace.
Benjamin Franklin’s advice remains timeless:
Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.
His words remind us that temperance is not just about physical or external restraint but also about guarding our words and intentions. By focusing our energy on what truly matters, we create a life that reflects balance, purpose, and peace.
The Ego and the Shadow Side of Temperance
Temperance also calls us to confront the shadow side of the ego—the part of us driven by pride, selfishness, and excess. The ego convinces us that fleeting pleasures or dominance over others will bring satisfaction, but these impulses often leave us feeling empty and unfulfilled.
Practicing temperance helps us see through the ego’s illusions. It teaches us to pause and reflect, to ask whether our actions align with our higher purpose. This isn’t about suppressing desires—it’s about transforming them. For example, instead of seeking validation from others, temperance might guide us to find fulfillment in contributing to something meaningful.
By tempering the ego, we gain a deeper sense of freedom—freedom from impulsivity, pride, and overindulgence. In its place, we cultivate humility, balance, and a life grounded in integrity.
Temperance as a Spiritual Foundation
At its core, temperance is spiritual. It aligns us with our soul, guiding us to live with peace, balance, and purpose. The Stoics saw temperance as a cornerstone of wisdom, and in Christianity, it is celebrated as one of the fruits of the Spirit—a reflection of God’s divine order.
Practicing temperance deepens our connection to God by helping us detach from distractions and focus on what matters most. This detachment isn’t about apathy—it’s about creating space to reflect, grow, and remain rooted in faith, even amid chaos. Temperance also enriches our relationships, allowing us to approach others with humility, understanding, and grace.
Closing Thoughts: The Freedom of Temperance
Temperance is not about denying yourself joy or pleasure; it’s about finding freedom in balance. It allows us to live intentionally, enjoying life’s blessings without becoming enslaved by them. For me, temperance has been a profound teacher, guiding me through challenges and helping me align with my true self. It has taught me that balance is not a restriction—it is a liberation.
Jesus Christ exemplified temperance throughout His life. He demonstrated humility, patience, and perfect self-control, even in the face of temptation, rejection, and suffering. His life serves as the ultimate guide for how temperance allows us to walk in love and truth, rooted in God’s purpose.
Similarly, the principles of Zen teach us to find harmony by cultivating mindfulness and detachment from desires that disturb our inner peace. Both Jesus and Zen teachings show us that true strength lies not in dominance, but in quiet balance, self-restraint, and a deep connection to the present moment. By following His example and embracing the stillness taught in Zen, we are encouraged to practice temperance in a way that nurtures freedom, peace, and spiritual wholeness.
As you journey toward temperance, remember this: progress, not perfection, is the goal. Each step you take toward balance is a step toward a life of greater peace, purpose, and fulfillment.
The Twin Tree Project 