Silence isn’t absence. It’s work being done. Deep work. The kind that doesn’t always announce itself but shows up later as fruit.
I have been mostly quiet in terms of writing and sharing here at Twin Tree throughout 2025. I’ve shared about some situational things here and there, mostly to help keep focus on the realities of what was happening in the world and society, not the noise and manipulation of the ones controlling the narrative.
But mostly, I’ve been fertilizing and maintaining my physical existence. Waiting on God for what I should share in depth.
Through it all, God has been steady. He has been shaping me, refining me, and reminding me that this place is only a tool, only an outlet, for my greater purpose.
I have more than 70 drafts saved. I’ve been waiting on His timing to release them. Some I was guided to share long ago, but I held back. Fear of being misunderstood as societal climates increased, not wanting to add to anger and outrage. Fear of misunderstanding His timing. It all blurs.
The past couple of weeks have given me new insight into myself and into how God works. I understand so much more deeply now.
We can’t brush past the true trigger to action for not only individuals, but for us as a collective, and that was Charlie Kirk’s murder. That moment defined so much. For me, it began a chain of events that led me back here, to openly sharing again.
In the course of those conversations, a friend said something that split God’s message wide open for my soul. His words surprised even me.
He said, “You seem like a nurturing, giving person who tries to help others through teaching, but is getting rejection and worse from social media. I suggest to you that these people are not ready to listen to you. Sadly, many will suffer to get to the state of humility and hunger where they can become a student. No pearls before swine.”
I replied, “I get what you’re saying, and I appreciate it. But here’s the thing: I am who I am. Teaching, sharing, reflecting—this is part of my calling. It’s not about targeting people who ‘don’t know’ or forcing my perspective. It’s about living authentically and being obedient to the nudge to share.
When I post questions or thoughts triggered by others, it’s not a negative trigger. It’s me discerning, thinking, and learning in real time. I speak to myself first, then share the experience because often there’s a lesson there—whether in them, in me, or in the exchange itself—that others might recognize and grow from too.
That’s just how my mind works. I have a deep need to understand, for better or worse, and sharing it outward is how I process the journey.
Very few have ever been ‘ready’ to know me. That doesn’t bother me. I know myself too well. I don’t need approval or affirmation. I don’t hinge my worth on others validating me. Maybe that’s why some call me arrogant. But it’s only because I don’t need what they expect me to need.”
My own response seemed to culminate everything I’d been weighing about sharing and what to share and when, here. It was so obvious to me. So, I sat with that… and not just for a brief moment of pause, but for a long while.
I meditated on the issue of sharing, on when and where. My reflections led to dreams that felt like visions, and to a prayer session where God said, “Stop worrying about whether you’re doing what I want you to do. If you’re following your heart, you are always doing what I want you to do.”
It’s deeper than that, of course. Nuanced. But that was the heart of His message.
And here I am.
When I started Twin Tree, I was in motion. Searching. Protecting. Trying to carve out a space where I could share without interference.
I wrote about philosophy, science, poetry, testimony. Different branches, but the current underneath was always God. Even when I didn’t say it, He was the root.
I can see now how steady the message has been: seeking truth, wrestling with meaning, learning discernment, offering what I learned. The way I spoke shifted—sometimes scripture, sometimes metaphor, sometimes art or reflection. But the thread was always Him.
The foundation of all my work, from my art and poetry/creative writing as catacosmosis to my sharing here in this space, has always been God. It was never anything else. Not dogma. Not man’s theology. But faith. Surrender. Discernment. The lived experience of walking with Him.
This is the bridge between who I was when I began and who I am now. Nothing wasted. Every silence, every detour, every experiment shaped me.
And where I stand now is clear: Jesus is the center. My life, my work, my words—they all point back to Him.
The issue, as I understand now, has never been what to share, or when, but more-so the where. A whole person trying to split herself into digestible pieces, as far as online spaces go.
But intrinsically, I am who I am, with a goal to share THE I Am.
I am catacosmosis, the artist, photographer and writer of intimate thoughts and feelings. catcosmosis, as the persona behind my art/creative writing, was born of the idea of catastrophe in osmosis. Me, as and through the experience of caregiving and becoming.
I am also the person behind Twin Tree (which often includes my husband’s “voice”). Twin Tree was begun to hold the direct and purposeful testimony of real life, exploring real time experiences with God and a journey for and with Him, and the growth in the process.
Through this reflection, my mind and vision has become much clearer.
Going forward, Twin Tree will still be the space for teaching, testimony, and truth. catacosmosis will still be a centralized space for the art, the poetry, the creative reflection that carries the same truth in a different way.
Two branches. One root. The story of a soul refined, still reaching upward. The thing is to openly combine them, so I am working out a way to tangibly achieve that. And that, in itself, is renewal.
I am walking forward from the uncertainty created by that blurriness—not from one past thing or another, not from here or there, but as a whole. It’s about wholeness. No longer compartmentalizing or dividing myself within my own perception, as I once did. It’s about God, and Christ, at the center. That’s all that matters.
So why do I share? Because I don’t mind exposing the journey, the way it all happens. It’s been “a crazy time” for years now, for all of us, and sharing that at a personal level? That’s what we can all learn from, because the best way to learn is together, through the examples we all are.
The easiest way to learn what is wrong is to be unafraid to expose what’s been wrong to the light. It must be exposed, because the light is the only thing with the power to heal or correct it.
The light is God.
“Behold, I make all things new.” (Revelation 21:5)
Until the next post, xo.
The Twin Tree Project 