Sunday Sessions: The Love We Notice While It’s Here

Writing this post feels like déjà vu—like I’ve written it before. Maybe I have. But it hit me again this morning, and I’m sharing it anyway. We can never have too many reminders to notice what we’re grateful for, to hold it close before it’s gone.

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Every morning, my mother-in-law texts me. Just a simple check-in, a simple encouragement, a simple reminder that my existence counts. ‘Good morning, hope you have a good day, praying for you,’ she writes, or some variation of it. Simple. Steady. Nothing elaborate, no deep conversations, just a steady rhythm in my life, a thread of connection I didn’t expect to mean so much.

I’m not singled out—several of us, all her kids, for sure, receive these messages. But it feels…special, to be “married in” and still receive that “mother’s love” from a woman who I’m sure has doubted me as a wife for her husband more than once. Even with a perfect choice (which I’m far from), what mother doesn’t question her son’s choice? I will, I’m sure, when my only son reaches that era of his life.

Every morning I’m encouraged that despite differences we do have, things even mere age difference might define, like our different lived experiences, levels of understanding, and the like, she still believes in me and lifts me up. Sometimes I’ll ask for a phone call if I’ve got a load, or a worry-driven or spiritual question, on my mind. She always calls when I reply with that, or tells me to call her. Maybe it’s unfair to lean so heavily on her with burdens and uncertainties, seeking guidance, but as I come into the season of my own life where I stand more in that matriarch role, I understand that that’s our job…and we need to be OK with leaning on each other.

We live a distance apart, and we don’t see each other often. But the love is there. The support is there. The prayers are there. It’s all real, even if not seen with the eyes. It’s tangible in a way that spirit can understand. We don’t have an outspoken, emotional kind of relationship. Maybe we do, and it’s just unspoken. Either way, those messages mean more to me than I think she knows. And one day, when those texts stop coming, I know I will miss them.

The difference now, though—the thing that sets this apart from other losses I have known—is that I realize the value of this while I have it. That wasn’t always the case.

Unspoken Love Is Still Love

Not all love is loud. Some love is quiet, woven into the fabric of daily life in ways that are easy to overlook. The world teaches us to equate love with big gestures, grand displays of emotion, and constant verbal affirmation. But love is also found in the consistency of small things:

• A parent who checks in just to say good morning.
• A spouse who makes coffee without being asked.
• A friend who prays for you, even if they never tell you.

These things don’t demand attention, but they hold weight. They are actions, not just words.

Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. (1 John 3:18)

Love is not just what is said—it is what is done. The quiet ways someone keeps showing up.

The Gift of Presence Over Regret

I have known loss. I have known the ache of realizing too late what I had. I have looked back and wished I had paid more attention, had more gratitude, held on longer.

That kind of hindsight is cruel. It turns love into longing, presence into absence, and what once was normal into something you would give anything to have again.

But this time, I see it while it’s happening. In that context, there’s a strange mercy in knowing nothing lasts forever—it forces us to look at what’s in front of us, to hold it while it’s still ours.

I see the beauty in the small things. I don’t rush past them. I don’t assume they will always be there. And because of that, I know that when the day comes that they are gone, I will not be left with regret—I will be left with the peace of knowing I cherished them when I could.

To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven. (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

This is the season I am in. I am present for it.

Why We Overlook What We Have

The human mind has a strange tendency to ignore the good until it is gone. Psychology calls it negativity bias—we focus more on what we lack than what we have. We adapt to blessings so quickly that we stop recognizing them as special.

We assume love will always be there, a quiet constant humming beneath our days, and that people will keep showing up—until, one day, they don’t.

But here’s the shift: We can break that cycle.

We can be conscious and present. We can wake up each morning and notice the gifts around us before they disappear. We can choose to hold love in our hands while it’s still warm instead of chasing its shadow when it’s gone.

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. (Psalm 90:12)

Gratitude is a form of wisdom. It changes how we live.

The Difference Between Past and Present Me

The past version of me didn’t always see what I had until it was too late. I grieved things I could have held onto longer, people I could have appreciated more deeply.

But this version of me is different.

I see it now. I feel it now.

And that, in itself, is a kind of healing. It doesn’t erase loss, but it transforms how I live. It allows me to receive love fully, while it’s here, rather than only recognizing its value once it’s gone.

Closing Thoughts: Love in Real-Time

Maybe love doesn’t have to be spoken in depth to be deeply understood.

Maybe the proof of its existence isn’t in what is said, but in what is felt. In the peace that replaces longing. In the contentment of knowing that, this time, I won’t have to look back and wish I had been more grateful. I already am.

For quite a spell now, as my grandmother would say, I’ve been learning to love in real-time—and if you struggle with this (like I used to, no masks here), letting self-absorption or just the chaos of life in general override it, you can too. On that note, here’s a challenge for you:

What love do you have in your life right now that you will miss one day? Who prays for you, checks in on you, or shows up for you in ways so small they are almost invisible? Take a moment today to consciously consider those questions, make a note—mental or otherwise, and take a moment to consciously be grateful. Maybe even let them know?

Don’t just love in hindsight.

Love in real-time.