You Are Not Broken.

There’s a crucial distinction I’ve come to understand between respecting ourselves and trying to fix ourselves. Not in the way we’re often taught to respect ourselves in Western culture—a respect based on achievement, status, and conforming to societal norms—but rather a deeper, spiritual respect that embraces our true essence. This realization can be liberating, but it requires shedding the conditioned belief that being different makes us “broken” or in need of fixing.

When others disagree with us, can’t accept us, or simply don’t resonate with who we are, that’s not a reflection of our brokenness; that’s a reflection of their inability to see and appreciate our authenticity. Unfortunately, people often manipulate us into believing that there’s something wrong with being ourselves. And whether they do so consciously or not, this manipulation can be deeply damaging. But here’s the truth: The only person there is something fundamentally wrong with in that equation is the one who seeks to diminish or devalue another’s spirit. The book of Proverbs reminds us:

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. (Proverbs 4:23)

When we allow others to deplete our spirit, to steal our time, or to take for granted our kindness, we can mistakenly internalize the belief that we’re unworthy, unlovable, or broken. But that’s not a reflection of who we are—that’s evidence of their inability to love honestly and generously.

Walking away is not weakness, it’s wisdom.

When we finally walk away from mistreatment, we are often left with the lingering feeling that we need to “heal” from that experience. There’s an implicit pressure to believe we were somehow too weak, too trusting, or too kind. But those very attributes—trusting, kind, giving—are not our flaws. They are reflections of our authentic selves, the parts of us that seek connection in truth and love.

It’s important to realize that the brokenness we feel is not ours to own. In the words of Carl Jung, “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” Authenticity may isolate you from those who do not share or respect your values, but it also shields you from relationships rooted in attachment rather than connection. When someone values attachment over connection, it’s not intimacy they seek; it’s control.

Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you. (Matthew 7:6)

When we share the sacred parts of ourselves—our trust, our love, our time—with those who cannot reciprocate or appreciate them, we only drain our spirit. But walking away from that treatment doesn’t make you unkind; it makes you wise.

Let go of the need to fix what wasn’t broken.

In my own life, I kept trying to convince myself that I needed to heal from certain experiences, from certain people. But one day, the Lord spoke clearly to me. He said, “They’re a pirate, child. And you’re not. They do not know love; they do not know Me. Love does not lie, cheat, hide, sneak, or steal. Be comforted, because their pirate ship has holes you can’t see, and the water is rising. Even pirates don’t trust pirates, and it is not your calling to go down with their ship.”

Those words freed me from the belief that I needed to keep “fixing” myself to recover from a situation that had nothing to do with my worth or brokenness. We are called to improve ourselves, to be aware and willing to grow. But fixing ourselves to fit into a space that was never made for us is not growth—it’s self-destruction.

You are not broken. You are healing.

If you are a person who gives your all, loves unconditionally as best as a human can, and lives from a heart that earnestly seeks truth and love, you are not broken. Your heart might be wounded from the pain you’ve endured, but you are not broken. Psalm 34:18 affirms:

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18)

There is something beautiful about a soul that remains true to its essence despite the world’s attempts to force it into conformity. As Rumi once said, “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” When we endure and grow through adversity, it is not our spirit that is broken—it’s our spirit that remains whole in the face of harm.

Spirit would like to remind you, as I have been reminded, that you are whole in spirit. Let go of the belief that you need to fix what was never broken in the first place. Allow yourself to heal from the wounds, but never mistake your scars for signs of brokenness.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. (2 Corinthians 4:16)

True self-respect is embracing your spirit as it is, and true healing is knowing you don’t have to change who you are to be loved. We encourage you to seek out those who align with your values and who love in truth, for that is where you will find real connection and not just attachment.