As we move fully into 2025 — a year of completion, inner growth, and understanding — it’s important to reflect on what the previous year has taught us and the foundation it has helped us create. I wrote this post a month ago, unsure whether to share it, but as collective correspondence has come in asking questions it answers, I’ve realized it’s worth sharing.
For me, 2024 was a year of breaking cycles, facing hard truths, and establishing boundaries. It challenged me to grow spiritually, emotionally, and mentally — much like the focus of this blog as the year closed. In short, 2024 gifted me the understanding that walking in Godly, unconditional love doesn’t always look the way I once thought.
This post reflects those invaluable lessons — lessons about self-preservation and the responsibility it requires. I’m deeply grateful for what this year taught me as I — and the focus of this blog — shift toward a deeper exploration of spirituality, the inner self, and what it means to actively live and love our purpose in the year ahead.
Here’s what 2024 taught me — and, I hope, all of us who are part of this blog’s journey — about connection, healing, and the power of letting go, in a nutshell:
1. Godly, Unconditional Love Isn’t Always Loud. Sometimes, It’s Walking Away.
Loving unconditionally doesn’t mean tolerating toxic behavior or sacrificing yourself in the name of love. True love can look like letting go and trusting God to do His work in someone’s life.
The Bible reminds us of this in Matthew 10:14:
If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet.
Walking away isn’t always a lack of love — sometimes, it’s an act of love for yourself and obedience to God. Godly love is about showing grace, but it’s also about trusting that God’s love, not ours, will transform others. When staying becomes a source of harm, leaving can be the most loving act.
2. “Haters” Are Humans Who Hate Themselves.
Hurt people hurt people. The negativity others project often stems from their internal struggles. It’s not a reflection of your worth, but of their pain.
Jesus said in Luke 23:34:
Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.
Those who lash out often aren’t even aware of how deeply they’re ruled by their wounds. Understanding this teaches us compassion. It doesn’t mean accepting mistreatment but realizing that their actions are more about them than me.
3. Projection Can Be a Gift.
We often hear that projection is bad — people dumping their negativity, insecurities, or fears onto us. But projection can also be a gift.
When someone projects their self-hatred or negativity onto you, they’re unintentionally showing you areas of your own life that need reinforcement. Are you standing firm in who you are? Are you protecting your peace?
At the same time, we can choose to project good onto others. By living in love, even when it’s hard, we can be mirrors of what is possible — joy, peace, and healing.
4. Surrender Brings Clarity.
One seeks and seeks, but cannot find. One then gives up, and the answer comes by itself. (Alan Watts)
This quote beautifully reflects the paradox of healing and love. I, for example, spent so much time striving to “fix” the connection with an unhealed person, hoping I could pour enough love into the situation to make it work. But healing doesn’t happen through force. It was only when I surrendered — when I stopped trying to “make it work” — that peace came. This mirrors Jesus’ words in Matthew 11:28-30:
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Sometimes, the most loving thing you can do is let go and allow God to take over.
5. The “Let Them” Theory Is the Key to Peace.
Mel Robbins’ repackaging of philosophies and ideas from Stoicism and Buddhism, blended with modern psychology, allowed a synthesis of age-old wisdom to finally come together in a way that became actionable for me. At its core, the “let them” theory is about releasing control — of others’ actions, opinions, and judgments — and focusing instead on your own peace and growth.
When I embraced this mindset, instead of trying to control others or their perceptions of me, entered my “let them” era:
• Let them judge you.
• Let them misunderstand you.
• Let them gossip about you.
• Let them lose you.
The truth is, you can’t control others’ actions or opinions. You can only control your response. When you embrace the “let them” mindset, you free yourself from the weight of their behavior.
This aligns with Romans 12:18:
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Sometimes, peace comes from releasing the need to fight for understanding.
The Hardest Truth: Being Yourself in a World That Fears Authenticity
As 2024 came to a close and I reflected on my experience with — and ultimate decision to break free from — not just an unhealed person, but also my own unhealthy patterns in dealing with unhealed people, I began to see a deeper truth about why so many people struggle to grow, heal, and love: they’ve never been allowed to be themselves in the first place.
We live in a world where many people are conditioned, often from childhood, to believe that their worth is tied to what they do, how they serve others, or how well they fit into someone else’s expectations. For some, the very people who were supposed to love them — parents, partners, or friends — sought control rather than connection. These people, trapped in their own cycles of self-hatred and fear, couldn’t allow others the freedom to simply be.
This is why the “new year, new me” mindset often misses the mark. The issue isn’t that we need to become a new version of ourselves. For many of us, the truth is that we’ve never had the chance to fully be ourselves. We’ve been shaped by other people’s projections, limitations, and fears. And when we finally begin to step into our authenticity, those same people may lash out or reject us because our growth highlights their stagnation.
When I finally stepped into my authenticity and chose to heal, I realized how deeply this truth applied to a specific person I was being guided to let go of. They weren’t resisting me because of who I was — it was never personal. They were resisting me because they didn’t know how to handle what was real. Their worldview, built on fear, made it impossible for them to comprehend or trust love, freedom, or peace.
This is where the “let them” theory becomes essential. When you stop trying to win over people who are too blinded by their own pain to see your light, you reclaim your energy. You stop living in fear of their rejection and start living in alignment with your truth.
The Loneliness of Balance in an Unbalanced World
Stepping into your true self and choosing to heal in a world that thrives on imbalance is one of the hardest, loneliest experiences you’ll ever face. It’s lonely because most people don’t understand what it takes to stay balanced while everything around you pulls you toward chaos.
Many people have never experienced authentic, unconditional love — from others or even from themselves. If you’ve only ever known fake, selfish relationships, it becomes impossible to believe that real love exists. Why would you trust what you’ve never seen? Why would you open your heart when you’ve only been taught to protect it at all costs?
That was the perspective I learned to empathize with when it came to my “hater.” They didn’t seem to care, but the truth was deeper: they didn’t understand why they should care. They had never experienced love that wasn’t transactional or self-serving, so they didn’t even realize what they were missing.
This is where I saw the cycle so clearly:
• A world full of people who are unloved becomes a world full of people who can’t love.
• Fear replaces love. Control replaces trust. Misery perpetuates itself.
Love vs. Fear: Breaking the Cycle
When I finally stepped back from the connection and allowed myself to reflect, I realized that what it all boiled down to was love versus fear. Love allows freedom, while fear demands control. Love inspires empathy, while fear creates division.
The key to breaking the cycle is to choose love even in a world dominated by fear. To do that, you must first love yourself enough to protect your peace and prioritize your growth. You must believe in love, even when others don’t, and trust that God’s love is greater than anything this world can throw at you.
Closing Thoughts: Love Sets You Free
Walking away from that aforementioned connection wasn’t just an act of self-preservation. It was an act of faith. I had to trust that God’s love would reach them in His timing, just as it reached me. And I had to believe that I was worthy of the peace and joy that comes from living in alignment with His purpose for me.
If you’re walking a similar path, remember this: being yourself in an unbalanced world is an act of rebellion, but it’s also an act of love. When you choose love over fear, even in the face of rejection, you become a light in the darkness — a reflection of God’s love in a world that so desperately needs it.
If you are still dealing with people who perpetually hurt you — no matter how good you are to them (or perhaps even because of it) — let them be. It is time to accept the truth: they’re showing you who they are, not who they could be.
It is time to stop holding onto potential that doesn’t exist. If someone repeatedly chooses to hurt you, and shows you that they aren’t willing to grow, believe them. It’s time to “let them.” As you “let them,” trust God to guide you toward the peace and purpose He has for you.
This is where we step into 2025: a year of continued, but more focused, exploration of what that purpose truly is. I hope you’ll stick around and join us on this journey, and I invite you to share your correspondence and contribute your questions and ideas as we grow together.
Tremendous blessings and love to all of you as we move forward together.
The Twin Tree Project 