We hear it all the time: You’re worthy. Remember your worth. It’s everywhere—on social media, in self-help books, and even whispered in moments of prayer. But how many of us actually believe it? Even the Bible tells us we were worthy enough for God to send Jesus to die for our sins. Yet, growing up in modern Christianity, that’s not what I was taught. Not at all.
Instead, I was taught that I was unworthy—broken and sinful from birth. It was drilled into me that I needed to constantly repent, constantly ask for forgiveness, or risk eternal damnation. How could I feel worthy in the face of that? How could I believe I was enough, simply because I existed as a piece of God, as His child, when the message was so deeply rooted in shame and fear? The contradiction is staggering.
This isn’t just about Christianity; unworthiness is everywhere. It’s in the wounds we carry, the fear we hide, and the way we disconnect from ourselves and others. The idea of unworthiness creates a chasm between who we truly are and who we believe we need to be. And for so many, that chasm becomes their identity.
For perspective, I once had a friend who scoffed when I said they needed to love and live from their soul instead of their ego. Their reply? “My soul is just fine.” And yet, their actions told a different story. They lived a life full of manipulation, deeply hurting the people they claimed to love. Their choices prioritized their own comfort and happiness, no matter the cost to others. Why? Because deep down, they didn’t believe they were enough—not really. Their behavior wasn’t born out of self-respect or self-love but out of unhealed wounds and fear, driven by a desperate need to fill the void left by their unworthiness.
Perspectives on Worthiness
Let’s first revisit scripture. One of the most famous verses, John 3:16, says:
For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.
It’s the foundation of Christian faith. But here’s the thing: the love in that verse is the key. God didn’t sacrifice His Son because we’re worthless. He did it because we’re worth it.
The Bible also says in Psalm 139:14:
I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Yet how often do we really let that sink in? We were created with intention, with love, as an extension of God Himself. Our worthiness isn’t something we have to earn; it’s inherent. But the narrative we’ve been given for generations has twisted this truth. If we believe we’re unworthy by nature, how can we ever live as though we are enough?
Psychology reinforces this. One of the most basic human needs is the need for belonging and self-worth. When that need isn’t met—whether through childhood trauma, societal expectations, or even religious teachings that instill shame—we disconnect from ourselves. Brené Brown, a researcher known for her work on vulnerability, puts it plainly:
Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.
Shame tells us we’re not enough. It creates cycles of fear and self-sabotage, driving behaviors like manipulation, addiction, or perfectionism.
But worthiness isn’t about perfection. It’s about self-acceptance. It’s about recognizing that you’re enough—not because of what you do, but because of who you are.
Even in philosophy and advanced theories like the CTMU (Cognitive-Theoretic Model of the Universe), worthiness plays a role. The CTMU posits that reality itself is a self-sustaining system—one where everything is interconnected and meaningful. You, as part of that system, are inherently valuable because you’re an expression of God’s mind.
You’re not just a piece of the puzzle; you are the puzzle, intricately designed and irreplaceable.
This aligns beautifully with the idea that we are made in God’s image (Genesis 1:27). If God is the ultimate creator, and we are His creations, then our worth is non-negotiable. The CTMU reminds us that everything, including us, has a purpose. When we live as though we’re unworthy, we’re denying the very essence of our existence.
Living Worthy vs. Knowing Worth
Here’s the thing: knowing you’re worthy and living like you’re worthy don’t always align. It’s one thing to understand intellectually that you’re enough, but it’s another to embody it. That takes work—deep, internal work. It takes unlearning the shame and fear that’s been instilled in us for years. It takes reconnecting with God, with ourselves, and with others.
Self-respect and self-love aren’t just concepts; they’re practices. And when we don’t practice them, we live from a place of fear, from the wounds of unworthiness. That’s where ego takes over. The ego says, “I’ll prove I’m enough.” But the soul? The soul says, “I already am.”
A Call to Reflection
So how do we bridge the gap? How do we go from knowing we’re worthy to living like it? It starts with self-awareness. It starts with asking the hard questions:
• What wounds am I carrying?
• How have I let unworthiness shape my choices and relationships?
• Where am I living from fear instead of love?
It also starts with grace—grace for yourself and others. We’re all on this journey of learning and unlearning. Worthiness isn’t about perfection; it’s about connection. It’s about understanding that you are part of something bigger—God, the universe, love itself—and that your existence matters simply because it is.
Final Thoughts
Let me leave you with this: You were never meant to live in shame. You were never meant to question your worth. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, not because of anything you’ve done but because of who you are—a child of God, a piece of His creation, an expression of His love.
Live like it.
The Twin Tree Project 